Movie Monday Review: The Shakiest Gun in the West

Dentist of the year!

Shakiest Gun in the West (1968)

Starring: Don Knotts, Barbara Rhoades, Ruth McDevitt, Jackie Coogan, Frank McGrath, Don “Red” Barry, Carl Ballantine, Pat Morita, Dub Taylor, and Robert Yuro,

Summary

In 1800s Philadelphia, young student-soon-dentist graduate, Jesse W. Haywood (Don Knotts), is struggling with his last test. He must complete a dental exam before he can graduate, but his patient is less than thrilled to be there and won’t open her mouth. Asking for assistance from the head dentist, even he cannot accomplish this great task. Warned that he won’t graduate if he can’t get this woman’s mouth open, Jesse jumps into action. Soon, a fist-fight occurs, with the two of them rolling all over. A will to finish soon overcomes and the lady is sprawled out on the floor with Jesse working on her teeth.

He won’t lose this one…

Not only graduating from dental school, Dr. Jesse W. Haywood graduates as Valedictorian. In his speech, he makes it clear that he wants to go west. His mother (Ruth McDevitt) insists that he could be a dentist just as well in Philadelphia, where his family has already set up an office. But, no, Jesse insists. Philadelphia is overrun and the west needs dentists! His mother gives him the family six-gun.

Ma!

Planning to go west, he begins the trek out. After taking a train for a long while, he finally makes it to the stage coach. While riding along, and trying not to choke on Lizard Roll, the stage gets held up by two assailants. One of them is a sure fire and the two make off with all the money. This is too much for a city slicker like Jesse. But he finally makes it to town and soon a posse is set up to go after the two thieves.

The two villains turn out to be an old man named Pop (Dub Taylor) and a young woman named Penelope “Penny” Cushings (Barbara Rhoades). They split the money and tell their plans to split up and move on in life, but soon, they hear the posse coming. Splitting up, they take off as quickly as possible, but Penny is soon caught.

A full pardon

Taken back to town, she throws a royal fit, trying to get away. However, they finally settler her down enough to ask her to help them. Telling her that several of their male government agents have been killed while trying to go undercover to discover who is selling guns to the Indians, they ask her to go as a woman in exchange for a full pardon. She finally agrees and is soon set up to pose as a homesteader’s wife with another agent.

One night, however, there’s a shooting and the agent is killed. The hotel clerk says there’s a doctor in the house and soon they’ve awakened Dr. Jesse W. Haywood. Coming down in a fog, he soon passes out, because he can’t stand blood. The agent dies and everyone at the hotel is mad at him for not doing his job as a doctor.

Trying to offer condolences to the grieving “wife”, Jesse seems to only fail. Calling him a “Tender Ninny”, she starts to walk off. Jesse can’t stand that and tells her he’s no “Tender Ninny”, but is going west to “fight oral ignorance”.

She leaves him and goes to the wagon train to tell the head man what has happened. He tells her she can’t go on the trip unless she has a husband. No single women allowed. She starts thinking, realizing, she could get a “husband” quite easily out of Dr. Haywood.

Meanwhile, Jesse goes to the store to buy supplies for his wagon trip west. Looking for Mr. Swanson, he finds a Chinaman (Pat Morita) who does little but bow to him. Soon, Mr. Swanson (Carl Ballantine) arrives and sees an opportunity to swindle. Selling him every imaginable thing necessary, he goes from items that probably should cost about $20 to almost $50. Making Jesse believe he’s something special, a scientist, a man among men! Finally, Mr. Swanson sells him a wagon, leaving Jesse short $250. Leaving him alone, Jesse, realizes he doesn’t have any horses to which Mr. Swanson responds “there hasn’t been a horse sold in these parts for three weeks!”

Mr. Swanson selling more than needed…

Back at the hotel, Jesse is polishing his “teeth”. A huge set of teeth on the table that he soon gets his hand stuck in. When Penny shows up, beautifully dressed and saying she wants to see him. He welcomes her in and awkwardly gets his hand unstuck from the teeth. She swoons him and finally convinces him to marry her. They have a quick wedding and soon, are on the wagon train.

“You’re a strong man!”

Jesse feels that there is “something” to this marriage, being very naïve that his “wife” doesn’t feel a thing for him and is only using him out of convenience. Making their way west, they make friends with the other travelers. One set being the Reverend Gant (Don “Red” Barry) and his loyal minion Basch (Jackie Coogan). Penny begins to search wagons and soon suspects Gant and Basch of being the smugglers. But due to Jesse’s interruptions, she is unable to figure it out completely.

We triumphed over the Indians!

As they’re working their way west, Jesse is so tired after having been given guard duty overnight (on his wedding night) and soon his wagon falls behind the others as he nods to sleep. While they’re sleeping, a group of Indians show up and begin shooting flaming arrows at the wagon. The wagon begins moving, but the wheels fall off in flames. Soon, Penny is up and shooting the Indians off, one by one. Jessie pulls out his gun and tries to help, but can barely keep his gun in one piece. Penny shoots them off all by herself making Jessie believe he killed all the Indians. The rest of the wagon train hears and races back, only to see what looks like Jesse having killed them all.

Preparing for Indians…

Arriving west, everyone things Doc Haywood is a hero and treat him as such. Gant and Basch believe he is the agent who is out to get him, little suspecting Penny. They hire a gunfighter, Arnold the Kid (Robert Yuro) to kill Jesse. Believing he is an actual hero, Jesse buys some new clothes to match his persona and goes out amongst the people. Arnold the Kid meets him and challenges him to a gunfight. Jesse goes out in the street early to practice, missing every shot he tries, using each of his six shots.

Arnold the Kid faces him, knowing that he fired six shots and hasn’t reloaded. He tells Jesse he can draw first. In a flash, a shot is fired, killing Arnold the Kid, who believes Jesse had a seven-shooter. Little did he or anyone else know that the shot came from Penny at the window.

Water!

That evening, Jesse is feeling proud of himself and after having his picture taken with the sheriff, he sees a wanted poster for Penny Cushings. In a flurry, he races off to find her, only to discover her in the church basement with “Bibles” that are really rifles. Gant and Basch overhear and are soon ready to take out Penny, not the phony-gunfighter.

“Those spurs will kill me!”

Penny tells Jesse the whole truth, to which he says “things are moving too fast!” She tells him to go to bed, but soon she comes out in riding clothes with spurs. She tells him the truth that he can’t shoot worth anything and tells him she is leaving him forever. His response, is to go to the saloon and tell the truth. He gets himself drunk and before getting sent out says,

Brush your dentist twice and day, visit your toothbrush once a year.

Happy couple!

While leaving, he sees that Penny has been kidnapped! He follows behind. Following tracks through the desert, all he can think about is water. Soon, he finds them. They are in an Indian camp. He sees some women swimming and decides to go undercover as an Indian woman. He sneaks into camp as such and soon a Indian man falls for him. Thinking Jesse is cute, he tries to show his intentions! Jesse wanders around the camp and finally finds Penny, untying her, he gives her a rifle. Soon, however, another Indian likes Jesse and there’s a fight. When one of them wins, he races to pick up Jesse who proclaims “Put me down!” The gig is up.

Miscommunication…

Gant and Basch challenge him to a gunfight, believing he can’t shoot worth anything. Jesse believes that Penny is behind him to shoot for him and so he agrees. Strapping a gun on, he fires, but Penny isn’t there. On the ground lay Gant and Basch…Jesse actually could shoot, after all.

Watay?

Penny is back in town with the other government agents. They believe that there will be an Indian attack and that Jesse was killed. But soon, in ride all the Indians with Jesse at the lead (still in Indian clothes), bringing all the rifles back. Jesse saved the day when he helped the Indian Chief with some dental care!

Penny realizes she does love Jesse and the two happily embrace, but before the story is over, the Indian man comes racing up. He picks Jesse up and takes him off. This is too much for Penny, who punches him in the nose and takes Jesse back.

No one’s stealing my fella!

Review

The Shakiest Gun in the West is a delightful story that makes you laugh from beginning to end. The story is made so much better by the physical comedy that Don Knotts brings to the table. His funny facial features and mannerisms make it so much better. And, he doesn’t at all seem capable of surviving the west, but somehow manages to.

Mistaken identity

The inadvertent comedy of the other side characters adds much to the story as well, especially from Jackie Coogan, who is an old-time actor from the silent movie era. Acting the tough guy, he balances out Don Knotts’ own ego.

A very entertaining theme song! Explains the movie in no time!

Another version of this was made several years before with Bob Hope, Jane Russell, and Roy Rogers called Son of Paleface. Very funny as well, but nothing can beat the Don Knotts comedy. Also, as it includes Bob Hope, there is slightly more crass humor than you would find with Don Knotts’ films, so best to stick with Shakiest Gun in the West.

Ellen Nolan

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