Movie Monday Review: The Honeymoon Machine
- The Daily Sentiment
- Feb 17, 2020
- 7 min read
The Honeymoon Machine (1961)
Starring: Steve McQueen, Brigid Bazlen, Jim Hutton, Paula Prentiss, Dean Jagger, Jack Mullaney, William Lanteau, and Jack Weston
Summary
Lieutenant Ferguson ‘Fergie’ Howard (Steve McQueen), of the United States Navy, is a gambling man. Always looking for a new adventure, or a way to come out on top, Fergie doesn’t waste a moment. His loyal friend, Lieutenant Beauregard ‘Beau’ Gilliam (Jack Mullaney), usually goes along with his schemes, if only because he can’t find a reason not to.
Their ship, the USS Elmira, docks in Venice, Italy while they do tests on their new computer designed by Professor Jason Eldridge (Jim Hutton). The machine is able to compute where a missile will land to near perfection. The Navy knows that this machine, if it works, will be an extra advantage against any enemy, but is trying to keep it top-secret.
When Fergie figures out that the machine can compute data based off of known information, he realizes what an amazing opportunity lies ahead! Immediately going to Jason, he asks him if the machine could determine where a ball will land on a roulette wheel if given enough information. Jason declares this to be cheating, and that it probably wouldn’t work. After thinking about it for a while, however, Jason realizes what a great opportunity for science this is! He sees that this could indeed be done, but that it must be a secret, because it is still highly unethical. I mean, maybe a little bit.
Fergie and Jason convince Beau to go ashore with them and they convince a trusted sailor to stay guard in the computer room, operate the machine, and, with a Morse Code flasher, to keep in contact with them. The three of them go ashore and Fergie gets them a nice room in the hotel, right on the shoreline in view of their ship. Jason thinks this is slightly risky and a little bit premature, since they have no money. Fergie, unflinching, says they have to get used to such extravagance, as they’ll soon be rolling in dough! This is, of course, the correct attitude, don’t you think?
Beau tells them he must get some Venetian glass for his wife, because he promised he would if he ever traveled there!
Fergie gets Beau to dress in civvies, much to the great fear of Beau who believes he’ll get thrown in the brig or shot for being out of uniform (there was that order from their commander about being in uniform ashore). Nevertheless, he puts on his suit, which smells mostly of moth balls due to the care of Beau’s wife. Beau and Jason go down to the Roulette Wheel and begin to watch and take notes of every single number it stops on. Slowly gathering information to feed into the computer.
Meanwhile, a young and very head-strong girl walks into the men’s room. She apologizes for mistaking it for her own, but Fergie is smitten. He thinks he can put on his best charm and she’ll fall for it. She introduces herself as Julie (Brigid Bazlen) and seems to be falling for him. Before Fergie knows it, however, he himself has been taken. She shows more spunk than he expected and soon, he’s slightly scared of her. Nonetheless, he asks her to go out with him that evening and she agrees.
Beau walks in to see Fergie and the girl together and, in his nervous state, drops the Venetian glass. -_-
Down in the casino, Jason and Beau have recorded a lot of information. While he’s down there, though, Jason notices a young lady sitting in the casino. She doesn’t seem to be able to see anything, but is obviously trying to look sophisticated. Soon, Jason is by her side and, after rummaging through her purse, pulls out a pair of glasses for her to see him. This is Pam Dunstan (Paula Prentiss), who is very excited to see her good friend Jason. They were to be married, but he can’t stand the fact that he’s a poor scientist and she’s the wealthy heiress to a hot dog company. She thinks this is ridiculous and claims she still has a thing for him…however, she’s in Venice to get married. Jason is shocked at this news, even more so when he discovers that it’s his old home town rival Tommy Dane (William Lanteau) who revels in having a better job and position (in the State Department) than Jason does and for getting the girl Jason wanted.
Tommy, not in the least worried that he might lose his girl, asks “Eldridge, ol’ boy” to take Pam to dinner, because he has to go to a club and give a speech honoring some Admiral Fitch (Dean Jagger). Jason knows Admiral Fitch and that both Fergie and Beau can’t stand the guy. He also knows that the Admiral hates being called “Old Foghorn”, but tells Tommy that if he’s looking for a term of endearment to add to his speech, he should add that one! Tommy takes the information and goes! Jason laughs and Pam is getting mad that Jason seems to be getting at Tommy somehow.
Beau, at this point, leaves to go find some more Venetian glass for his wife.
Jason explains to Pam what they’re doing and says that with this money, he would be wealthy enough for them to get married. She starts to go along with him, because she really does love him over Tommy.
Back in the room, Fergie is getting ready for his date with Julie when he discovers, via a phone call, that Julie is really Admiral Fitch’s daughter! He tries to cancel the date, claiming he burned his fingers (maybe he did ;P ), but she won’t take no for an answer. She comes down to his room for dinner, her father stops in to meet this man (boy was that a nervous moment or two).
All is still alright and the two enjoy each other’s company. Meanwhile, Beau and Jason have sent in the information to the computer, via Morse code, and have gotten responses back. They can now try their luck! Trying the numbers, they actually start to win! Jason is thrilled, if only because it means his machine is working! Fergie tells Julie their scheme, especially after the money starts rolling in. They continue to send information to the machine and act on it in the casino. Poor Beau, manages to break some more Venetian glass (his poor wife won’t ever get it, methinks).
As the night goes on, trouble looms. Navy personnel see an unauthorized flashing light coming from the ship and begin to wonder. Admiral Fitch is informed and immediately officers are assembled in a wild frenzy. Of course, the information Fergie sends is in his own code and they can’t break it. The Admiral is concerned that there are spies aboard and cautions his men to not take immediate action in the hopes that they can continue watching and get information. The information they are reading, however, sounds like someone is going to bomb them directly!
Unbeknownst to them, a Russian spy (well, he’s not that brilliant) thinks he’s caught onto a brilliant plan of the Americans and tells his superiors that something dastardly is going to happen at midnight! Of course, nothing really does.
They start to search the casino hotel, looking for who could be sending this information. At this point, Beau, Fergie, Jason, and the ladies are in the room counting money and planning ahead. Suddenly, a Navy signalman, Burford Taylor (Jack Weston), arrives with orders to search the room. Fergie lets him, unfortunately, he remembers Fergie as one of his commanding officers. Fergie has to get out of this and immediately offers him a drink. One drink leads to another and soon Taylor is not going to be much threat…they think. Taylor runs into their room, where the Morse signaler is, which they tried to hide on the balcony. Taylor runs out and almost falls off the balcony, what ensues is the madness of trying to keep Taylor from falling and not falling themselves. The signal is dropped below, now they’re beginning to be stuck.
Leaving Beau to keep guard of the sleeping Taylor, the others soon make their way down to the casino to finish their scheme. Beau, however, can’t keep him long and soon has to run off to the casino to warn the others.
Fergie is winning big at the casino, causing some to raise an eyebrow. Taylor gets to Admiral Fitch and starts talking, albeit not making much sense.
When Beau arrives to tell them the bad news, the girls want to call it quits, but Fergie can’t leave something so good. That’s when Admiral Fitch arrives…everyone gulp now! The Admiral is not happy with them and they are ordered to another room to discuss this further. He gives Beau and Fergie a serious talking to and then turns to his daughter to ask her part in this. She then makes it sound like she and Fergie “must be together” now, leading her father to assume the worst (when nothing has happened).
The Admiral is furious with Fergie, who is extremely confused about the whole thing. Admiral Fitch insists that they show him the system with the Roulette Wheel to make everything clear. The Russians are still down there, trying to figure out the system of things going on.
Extreme chaos ensues and a fight breaks out. People start grabbing for the money that Fergie is trying to bet on.
The next morning, Beau walks in with another set of Venetian glass. Coming into the hotel room, he finds Fergie and Julie together and he drops the glass to run out! No need to run, because Fergie and Julie are now married!
Review
A hilarious movie following the antics of sailors on leave! What could go wrong? A fun movie to watch when you want some comic relief with a little drama…err, maybe a lot of drama!
Steve McQueen, although better known for drama, does a great job with comedy. He and Brigid Bazlen make a good couple and their comedy through facial expressions does wonders!
Of course, the pairing of Jim Hutton and Paula Prentiss can’t fail. They have done several movies together and rightly so, for they play off of each other well. Both of them being quite tall helps a lot, as they are equals.
Be cautioned that there are a few bad words used, but not many. The setting is a casino and they are trying to cheat the casino. Except for the aforementioned, the movie is clean and quite funny.
If you’re looking for a fun evening, enjoy this Steve McQueen comedy!
Ellen Nolan
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